You're Not Lost, You're Just Overwritten
I was looking at my old journals from five years ago, and honestly? I didn’t recognize the person writing them. I was using words I don’t use, chasing goals I didn’t actually care about, and trying so hard to be "palatable."
We spend so much time "curating" our lives that we accidentally bury the person who’s actually living it. If you feel like you’re just going through the motions, you’re not broken. You’ve just been overwritten by everyone else’s software.
Let’s talk about how to get back to the original code.
1. The "Ugly" Interests
Host: When we’re kids, we like weird stuff. We collect rocks, we draw monsters, we dance like we’re glitching. Then we grow up and start liking things because they’re "cool" or "aesthetic."
The Action: Look for your Low-Status Joys. What is something you love doing that gives you absolutely zero social "clout"?
Maybe you like reading low-budget sci-fi novels.
Maybe you like organizing your junk drawer.
Maybe you still like playing The Sims for six hours straight.
Your true self lives in those "useless" hobbies because there’s no ego attached to them. Do one "ugly" thing this week just because it feels good, not because it looks good.
2. Audit Your "Shoulds"
Your brain is filled with a thousand tiny voices telling you what you should do. "I should want that promotion." "I should be waking up at 5:00 AM." "I should be more social."
The Action: Carry a small notebook (or use your notes app) for one day. Every time you say the word "should" in your head, write down who gave you that rule.
“I should go to this party.” (Source: Fear of being left out).
“I should be more productive.” (Source: A boss I don't even like).
When you identify the source, the "should" loses its power. You realize it’s not your voice; it’s just an echo.
3. The "Body Never Lies" Rule
We’ve been taught to live from the neck up. We think our way through everything. But your mind is a professional gaslighter. It’ll convince you that you’re happy in a situation where your body is literally falling apart.
The Action: Start checking your Biological "No." Next time you're asked to do something, don’t answer immediately. Wait five seconds.
Does your breath get shallow?
Do your shoulders creep up to your ears?
Does your stomach feel heavy?
That’s your true self screaming "No" before your brain can talk you into a "Yes." If it’s a "No" in the body, it’s a "No" for the soul.
4. Lean Into the Friction
We’re told that finding yourself should feel like a warm hug. It doesn't. Usually, it feels like friction. It feels like saying "actually, I don't want to do that" and dealing with the awkward silence that follows.
The Action: Practice Micro-Authenticity. Once a day, disagree with something small. If a friend says a movie was "amazing" and you thought it was just okay, say that. Don't just nod. Reclaiming your "true self" starts with the tiny, honest moments. You're building the muscle for the big stuff later.
The "Unbecoming"
Host: Here’s the truth: You don’t "find" your true self. You unbecome everything that isn't you. It’s a messy, weird, and sometimes lonely process, but the version of you waiting on the other side? They’re worth the effort.
You don’t have to figure it all out today. Just stop performing for a second and see what happens.